A Case of the Crazies

I have a dog. She is a great dog. She is almost two years old and finally starting to calm down a little bit. But every now and again, she has her moments.

Now when we got this sweet little puppy, I swore up and down that dogs do not belong on the bed. I had always grown up with cats, and they only slept on the bed because they’re impossible to train or control. But dogs take up way too much room and belong on the floor.

However, this sweet little doggy started out as Dylan’s pet. And so while he was working in Corvallis, Tele was able to go to work with him during the week and hang out in the trailer. And at night, Dylan let the dog sleep in the bed with him*.

At home however, Tele knew that she wasn’t allowed on the bed and needed to sleep on the floor. But she had tasted the good life. She knew what it was like to snuggle up to another warm body, and sleep on the warm, soft blankets and a mattress instead of her doggy bed.

Time went on, Dylan got to work where he could stay at home for a few months and the dog adjusted to her full time schedule of sleeping the night away in her doggy bed. But eventually, Dylan was sent to another job where he couldn’t bring the dog with him and it was doggy and I on our own**.

And what can I say to this.

And now the dog thinks this is where she belongs when its time to go to bed.

So I have resigned myself to the fact that the dog now sleeps on the bed during the week until Dylan comes home. And the dog seems to comprehend this relationship of people vs. space and ability for dog to sleep on the bed. However, last night it was kind of chilly when I was going to bed. Tele hopped up onto the bed and I tried to stick my cold feet under the warm little doggy. She growled a little bit. And I scolded her because obviously she does not realize that I am the superior being in this relationship and she should be so lucky to be laying on my bed with the ability to warm my feet. So after some more shoving of the dog, she got up and stared at the blankets, wondering what on earth could be disturbing her ability to sleep.

Now – I also have a crazy cat, who LOVES to pounce on your hands/feet under blankets. This is a great game to play if you are a cat.

However, if you are my dog, this is not a game. This is a terrifying monster. So while I’m scooting my hands and feet under the blankets “attacking” the dog, she is getting more and more concerned about her safety on the bed. And eventually surrenders. I have been trying for months unsuccessfully to get the dog to stop sleeping on the bed and last night she was finally freaked out enough by my own feet that she refused to sleep on the bed with “the monster”.

Well, for a little while. This kind of just backfired on me because when she did decide it was safe to sleep on the bed, it was only safe if she slept right next to my face instead of down by my feet where she usually sleeps. And let me tell you, waking up to dog in your face isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be. So now my dog is just scared of my feet and wants to be even closer to me at night.

Please send help.

* In Dylan’s defense, he only had a mattress on the floor, so the dog just assumed that this was also her bed.

** For the record, despite the fact that I have now portrayed my dog as a HUGE wuss, she is very ferocious and will eat any attackers. She is always hungry.

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